Good News, Bad News x2

Well, the good news is that my esophagus does not have to stretched again.  The double-bad news is that the problem starts before food reaches my esophagus, and there is no way to fix it.  Oh yeah, and it will keep getting gradually worse over time.  That might be 3x bad news, but who's counting anymore?

Without going into a throat anatomy lesson, there are some small structures just past my tongue that were damaged by the radiation, and cannot heal or be corrected with surgery.  Even well before food gets to my esophagus the damaged mechanisms limit what can go past them, and cause a backup with all but the smallest of food particles and liquids.

The PA who did the test put it into perspective:  this is a bummer for me, but she sees a lot of cancer survivors with many more eating limitations than mine, and many who can take food only through a tube--for the rest of their lives.

Sonofabitch--just when I wanted a good reason to wallow in my cheeseburger-less reality, she tells me it could be a lot worse, given the type of cancer I had and how it was treated.

So, I actually left the test feeling good--what's wrong with that picture?  What I need to do now is figure out how to cope with this for the rest of my life.  For a long time I thought it might get better some day, but that hope is now gone.  Time to figure out a way forward that will keep me nourished and looking forward to meals.  To be honest, that's not the case right now.  If eating was not an absolute necessity, I could happily not eat ever again--it's just too much of a hassle, with very limited options, and a test of will to get enough food into my mouth and down to my stomach three times a day (I've almost stopped snacking completely--except for yogurt).

mike

The "Gifts That Keep On Giving" Keep on Giving

Over the past year or so, my white blood cell count has hovered around the lowest level possible before it needs to be treated.  My GP referred me to one of Emory's best hematologists, who specializes in symptoms related to chemotherapy.  His opinion is that my immune system has been compromised due to the...chemo 8 years ago, and the loss of marrow from bones removed during the two surgeries.  So, if he's right, I'll stay at risk for more things like the mystery infection I had in March.

Over the past few months, I've had increased problems with swallowing food.  I have a stricture in my esophagus, caused by...radiation treatments 8 years ago.  It reduces the elasticity of my esophagus, which limits the size of food particles I can swallow. My range of selection has not decreased, but what I can eat has become even more of a struggle--to the point that I just get tired from the effort at many meals, quit trying, and default to a Boost or yogurt to get the calories I need.  Ice cream with brownies, and Key Lime pie also do that same trick.

So, I have scheduled a Barium swallow test on Monday, with the expectation that I'll need another esophageal dilation--my fourth or fifth, I think.  That's IF they will let me have one more.  There is a limit to the number of these that one's esophagus can recover from, so there is a chance they won't be able to do it again on me.

We'll know more after the appointment on Monday, so stay tuned.

Mike