Fare Thee Well, Longtermsurvivor

After not looking at the Cancer Survivor's Network for about two weeks, I went on tonight and read the bad news that I've expected for some time.  My CSN friend, Pat (CSN handle, Longtermsurvivor) passed away on February 10th, ending his fourth bout with this disease.  Pat was first diagnosed in 1998 and spent the years since then going in and out of remission, until he was given a terminal diagnosis this past summer.  At that time he made the sacrifice to go through more chemo treatments to slow down the progress of the disease so that he and his wife could have as many days as possible together--and to be there for her as they dealt with some very serious family issues that he did not want to be made public.

I first started side conversations via email with Pat about three years ago, as my ORN issues started to surface and become very serious.  He did not have ORN, but he knew a lot about if from his medical background and his research on it.  He was there for me many times with important information, wit, and humor, and he monitored me closely before and after my jaw surgery in May of 2014.

Once I started to regain my strength after the surgery I asked Pat if I could come to visit him.  He lived in Arkansas.  I really wanted to meet him and hear his voice and feel his presence in person, even for just a few hours.  But, by then he already had his terminal diagnosis and was slowly fading.  The combination of new chemo treatments and dealing with his family situation was just too much--we were not able to find a time that he and his wife would be up for a visitor.  I could tell from our last email exchange about a month ago that his time was short.  Just a week or so ago it struck me that I had not heard back from him in a while, and I went to CSN to see if he had replied.  If he had not, I would have tried to contact him.  It was then I read that he had passed a week ago.

Goin' to leave this brokedown palace
On my hands and my knees I will roll, roll, roll
Make myself a bed by the waterside
In my time--in my time--I will roll, roll, roll

Going home, going home
by the waterside I will rest my bones
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
to rock my soul

For some reason I figured that if you could survive cancer three times that you have paid your dues and would be pretty much bullet-proof from the fucking Prairie Dogs for the rest of your life.  Just another case that you can run but not hide from the Prairie Dogs forever, once they get you in their sights.  Even if they don't come back to you in person, they will never leave you alone by taking others from your life--and get you to wondering "Am I next?"  Pat gave them a run for their money, but they are cruel and persistent bastards.
                                                           Fare you well, fare you well...

                                              There will be  a hole in my heart for a long time.

(Using the internet I was able to locate Pat's Obituary, and added some of it below)

Dunlap, Dr. Patrick Shepherd Age 61 Rogers, AR. Passed away February 10, 2015 in the home after a long battle with cancer. He was born April 30, 1953 in Quantico, VA, the son of Dr. James H. Dunlap and Ara Jane Hill Dunlap. He was an OBGYN Physician in Joplin, MO for many years. He is preceded in death by his father. Survived by his wife Janet Diehl Dunlap of the home; children, Stephanie Thacker and husband Stephen of Bentonville, Chuck McGibbony of Rogers, Bethany Ballard of Rogers, Jared Ballard and wife Mary Nixon Ballard of Springfield, MO and Hannah Barrow of Chattanooga, TN; daughter-in-law Mechelle McGinnis of Rogers; his mother Ara Jane Dunlap of Omaha, NE; his siblings, Mary Virden of Kansas City; Paul Dunlap of Lincoln, NE; Ann Woolard of Omaha and Sarah Heckathorn of Colorado; eleven grandchildren and one great-grandchild. 

I knew he had a medical background but not that he was an OBGYN.  

Mike