When the going gets tough, the tough eat yogurt

It's 10:55 PM on Friday--make that 10:56 PM now, and I am eating a Publix Premium Peach Greek Yogurt to keep my tummy from growling so I can get some sleep tonight.

Those little black plastic tubs of cultures (what the hell does that really mean, anyway?) have become my default food source lately--what I use to get an easily ingestible 150 or so calories when I need them, about 3-4 times every day.

Beyond liquid foods like smoothies, Boost, and some pureed soups, everything else I can eat now is a struggle--thus the reliance on yogurt.  Beer, wine and bourbon are technically not foods, so are exceptions--but they do provide substantial calories, and a buzz, in a pinch.  Thank you, Mr. Daniels.

Eating is a struggle, and a long one at every meal.  Terry and I start a meal together and by the time I'm tossing half of mine into the garbage, she's finished hers, done the dishes, put the leftovers in the fridge, and poured her post-dinner glass of wine.  Thus, the need for yogurts at 10:00 am, 2:00 PM, 5:00 PM, and now 11:13 PM.

For many, eating food is a pleasure--something to look forward and savor.  For me, eating has become something I know I have to do, but with limited choices, and only occasional enjoyment.  And except for eating at home with Terry, something I avoid at all costs in social settings.  I went to a Waffle House this morning with a good friend, and managed to eat about half of an omelet and a few bites of my hash browns (covered) before I couldn't fake the struggle any more.  I took a to-go box to save face, but ended up tossing it out, without eating any more later.  Just not worth the struggle.

When I got home yesterday, needing my 5:00 PM snack after work, I opened the fridge and saw a bunch of those black plastic Publix Premium yogurt tubs staring at me.  I had to take a long look at them, wondering if I could stomach yet another one.  After a few minutes, I did pick one (the flavor didn't freaking matter) and I ate it--as a choice of mind over matter, yet again.  Yes, when the going gets tough, the tough eat yogurt--to stay alive.

It's come to that.

mike