All I want for Chrsitmas is...

I remember singing this children's song when I was, well, a kid:

"All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth"

Today my wish came true in a bigger way than that.  I jut got back from the prothodontist after having SEVEN new bottom teeth installed on a removable denture.  It's a bit hard to see in this picture, but here they are.

I lost five teeth in the 2014 jaw resection and two more in the 2015 follow up procedure, so it's been two and a half years since I've had any teeth on my bottom left side.  There is already an improvement in the clarity of my speech, and I should be able to eat a little bigger variety of food--and will test that out in this holiday season.  My food choices will always be determined mostly by what I can swallow, but now I can at least chew some things better.

I had hoped this would be the final chapter in my recovery from the 2009 cancer and treatments, but it will be back to Dr. Roser soon to see about having some plastic surgery to tighten my lower lip and to permanently remove the hair growing on my gums.

But, today is a good day, and it comes almost exactly 8 years after our journeys in Cancer World started.  At this time in 2008 we were told my jaw pain problems were not dental in nature.  We had been referred to the ENT who first suspected I had cancer and we were waiting on our first appointment with him--which took place on Christmas Eve.  As they say, after that the rest is history.

So, we are in a much better state of mind this year, as we get ready for the holidays, and look forward to the New Year.  A New Year, by the way, that will start with my official retirement day of January 1.

As always, thanks for checking the blog from time to time, and letting us know you are still pulling for Team Mike.  Be sure to check back often in 2017, as I write the book.  I definitely want to include Team Mike members in it, so will ask you to share some of your thoughts with me.

Mike

Meeting Nels, the Street Artist

Every day on my way back and forth to GSU I pass by the Krog Street tunnel, which is a local iconic set of walls used by a large number of street artists to display their art.  For the past two years there has been one prominent wall in the front entrance to the tunnel that features cancer-themed art--with big and bold messages of hope for cancer patients.  The source of that hope is positive thinking and laughter--much of what I've believed in over the past now-8 years.

Coincidentally with this posting, I featured one of those murals on my last post, so you can see it right below this post.

The mural changes every few months, and had been painted totally black recently, which gave me a hint that a new one was coming.  I did have the quick bad thought that maybe it had been painted over for good--as can happen with tunnel art.  But yesterday on my way home I saw the artist working on a new mural, so I parked nearby and walked back to meet him.

Once he saw me in his periphery and acknowledged that I was there, I told him that my name was Mike and I drive past the tunnel every day and see his art.  I told him I was a survivor, and am touched by his message of hope and optimism.  He immediately responded to that and told me his inspiration for doing this work.  It started when his sister was diagnosed with terminal Leukemia and he used his art to express his feelings of anger.  His first piece was simply called "F*ck Cancer" (his asterisk, not mine).  I'll find it again and add it later.

After that he decided to use positivity, hope, and laughter as the best weapons against cancer, so all of his work in this series since then has contained those themes.

His sister did not win her fight, but he has kept the themes intact, and uses his art to carry his sister's memory through those message to all who pass by the Krog Street tunnel every day.

I told him about my book in-progress and that I wanted to use some of his art in it, maybe even on the cover.  He said that it was no problem and would like it for his messages to reach more people.

Up to this point, I didn't ask for his name--from the little I know about street artist culture, some of them want to remain anonymous (which explained part of my surprise to see him working in full daylight).  Regardless of my ignorance, he said his name was Nels, and we exchanged phone numbers to stay in touch.  You can see some of his work on his Instagram page:

https://www.instagram.com/grafilthy_art/?hl=en

I took a picture of him at work, but the light was bad--so I figured I'd get another one in the morning.

The finished mural is the first one on his Instagram site.

I left him thinking that this was surely a sign that the book really needs to get written, and soon.  So, I will use the time until retirement to keep thinking about it, and get to work on the writing once R-Day is behind me.

mike

Postscript (next day): I went by the Krog Street tunnel this morning, phone camera ready to photograph his finished work from yesterday.  It was painted totally in black again--have no idea what's up with that, but will check.

Post-postscript (four days later).  Well, the mural is back up and here is what it looks like:

Help me write a book

It has been my goal  to write a book on my experiences as a cancer patient and survivor.  Now that I'm retiring and on the verge of my last cancer-related medical needs, I want to write that book in 2017.  I have an agreement with a new publishing company in Philadelphia and have promised them a manuscript around the middle of next year, so time to get to work on it.

The working title is "Team Mike Versus the Prairie Dogs: My Two Journeys Through Cancer World."  The first journey will describe my experiences from pre-diagnosis in late 2008, through treatments in early 2009, to my first  NED (no evidence of disease) determination later that year.  The second journey will start there and describe the many side effects I've experienced from chemo and radiation, and my current life as a cancer survivor.

Here's where you come in.  Many of you have been members of Team Mike and have provided tremendous support for me and Terry along the way.  I want your voices to be heard in the book.  I am asking you to write anything you wish as a member of Team Mike that could provide readers a "third party"perspective related to my two journeys in Cancer World.   What were you thinking/experiencing/feeling from the distance and how did you cope with what you read on the blog and/or saw first hand?

The basis of the book's content will be this blog.  I am going to tell my story by using blog entries as much as possible, so if you need to review this Long, Strange Trip use that as a starting point.

I don't want the book to be just about me and Terry--I also want it to be about Team Mike, as part of the total effort to beat cancer.  If you want to contribute, reply to this post or send it as an email to tmmetzler@bellsouth.net and I'll make sure it gets into the book.  Do let me know if you want to be identified by name in the book or wish to be anonymous.

Remember, this is not meant to be a tribute to me--it's meant to reflect the contributions that Team Mike made to help me and Terry get through this challenge. And, as always, humor is appreciated!

mike

No News is Good News

Terry asked me a few days ago if I had posted to the blog, and I said I had nothing to report, so no new...reports.  Funny how that works.

We've had a very busy last 6 weeks--highlighted by Terry's daughter's wedding , so I've not made any progress on the dental work to help me get a new set of lower choppers.  That will change soon.

But over those weeks, I've continued to struggle with simple food consumption and still get fatigued from the added chewing and swallowing effort at meals before I get full--so I've added to my dependency on Boost and other similar products.  Trying to maintain my weight is difficult, but it's good that wine, ice cream and bourbon have a lot of calories in them--otherwise I'd weigh about 140 pounds right now. Yogurt remains a staple in my diet, and gets me through a lot of mornings in my office and afternoons when I get home--before nap time.

As of today, I am less than 50 days from retirement at Georgia State.   Hard to believe, but it's going to happen on December 15th--my last work day, and then officially on January 1.  Some people have asked me if I'm going to miss it, and my reply is that "I already don't miss it!"   Bring it on, I say.

mike

Update and Owl Sightings

Not much to report since my last post,but here goes anyway.

I saw Dr. Roser a few weeks ago and he looked at a spot in my gums that looked like a blood blister.  He called it something else, but that's really what it was.  It was a bit sore, so he told me to hold off a few more weeks before I go back to the prothodontist to start the denture work.  So, that's were I am, but expect to see the dentist in the next 2-3 weeks.

Otherwise we are busy with Terry getting ready for her annual entry into the Botanical Gardens scarecrow contest, doing a chili cookoff next weekend, a trip to Albuquerque after that, prepping for Terry's daughter's wedding reception, and then some visits from family and friends (going to Good Vibes).  So, busy, but fun.  That takes us through the first week in November.  After that, retirement for me will be five weeks away.

About a week ago we had sightings of Barred Owls in our backyard for 4-5 evenings in a row.  Most times we could only hear them--they have a very distinctive call--check this out:

https://search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?p=barred+owl+calls&ei=UTF-8&hspart=mozilla&hsimp=yhs-001

But twice we got really good sightings--like this one:

It was about 30 feet from our deck, and stayed there for a long time.  This time it flew off away from us, but the next night it flew right over us and we got to saw how freakin' big this thing is.  Our cats stayed extra close to us those evenings during Deck Time.

Smart cats.

mike

Everyone's a Joker These days

Terry had a consultation with a prospective new dentist the other day. Part of the consultation related to Terry's jaw and prompted her to mention that I've had two resections on my jaw--one with the bone from my left fibula and one with some bone from my left radial.

Without missing a beat, the dentist's assistant said "Wow, that must have cost him an arm and a leg!"

Got it?

Well, the dentist and Terry got it right away.  Terry broke out laughing.  The dentist showed some restraint to see Terry's reaction, and then laughed his own ass off. 

So, Terry has a new dentist and Team Mike has two new members who will fit right in.

You really can't make this shit up.

mike

Just Another Day as a Cancer Survivor

Today started out as nothing different.  Terry left for her regular meetings at her office, and I was going to enjoy one last day at home before classes start at GSU on Monday--a rehearsal for retirement, or so I thought.

After Terry left for work, I got ready for a few local errands, and then take a walk around the neighborhood.  Before I left for my errands I opened the garage door, to see a familiar guy walking his large Boxer-type dog in our cul-de-sac.  I'd seen him before and said hello a few days ago.  Since he was back again I thought I should say hello and establish a relationship, so we introduced ourselves.  His name is Chris, and his dog's name was Hershel. as in Hershel Walker of long-past University of Georgia fame.  Chris said he is a die-hard UGA fan--Red Flag #1. While I was talking with Chris, Hershel bolted past me and confronted our cat Ziggy, who was in full-on defensive mode just inside the house.  Those two postured back and forth, and eventually Chris got Hershel to come back to him, and then they moved on.

UGA plays the University of North Carolina in the Chic-fil-a Kickoff game on September 3rd. I have a ticket to the game, but only to witness in person the Dawgs' annual delusional national championship hopes getting squashed once again.  No apologies, Chris--UGA football is overrated and its fans are obnoxious.

I ran my errands, came home and parked my truck, and then went out for a familiar walk around the neighborhood.

Early in the walk a guy with two small bulldogs was coming towards me from the other direction.  No big deal.  But as I approached he pulled hard on the dogs' leash, and tried to restrain them.  I said "no problem" as we passed, but then one of the dogs jumped up and bit my shirt and hung on for a few seconds.  It finally let go, but there was a hole in my shirt.  I mumbled something about "shithead dog" and kept on going, not wanting to confront the owner, who said nothing about what just happened. I was stunned.

Just a few minutes later I saw a yard sign that said "Hillary for ..." and  walked closer to take a picture.  Now, Terry has said several times that she's seen very few yard signs for this election, so I wanted to show her that maybe this was changing.  As I got closer, the full sign read "Hillary for Prison, 2016"  but I still  wanted a picture.  As I got ready to take a picture I glanced at the porch of the house to see, you guessed it--Chris.   He didn't see me, and I didn't want to have a discussion with him about that sign (or UGA football), so I kept walking.

As I headed home on the last part of the walk I discovered a yard with a number of chickens and rosters in it.  This, well inside a residential neighborhood.  We hear the rosters on some mornings, but now I know where they are. 

The rest of the walk was uneventful, until I got back to the house.  There I was met by our next door neighbor who wanted to talk with me about him building a new fence between our yards.   Long story about that, so I'll spare you, but "... then it got weird."

Bottom line, if this was a preview of mornings in the 'hood after I retire in December, I might just keep working for a while longer.

mike

Report from the Post-Surgical Ward

As I was slowly coming out of my propofol-induced coma from the surgery I'm looking at the TV in my room and think I hear:

Today, newly-elected President Donald Trump announced that the military invasion of Mexico is going well.  He was quoted as saying, "Since those Mexicans wouldn't pay for my wall, the only option I had was to invade them to secure our borders from their drug dealers, criminals and rapists.  I think this should do it. The 13 million or so illegal Mexicans can now stay here and do the work real Americans don't want. We don't need to send them back anymore because Mexico will soon become our 51st state (But without voting rights, of course).  I also think this will act as a deterrent to our neighbors to the North--so Canada, you have been warned and I'll be sending you the bill for your wall later this year. It's  either that or become our 52nd state."

Trump was also quoted as saying "Looking to my next coronation, I mean my re-election, this is also a warning to any state that voted for Crooked Hillary in 2016. I will invade you if I need to. I want to win this thing unanimously next time."

That sent my blood pressure cuff and heart monitor into full tilt, which got the attention of Dr. Roser nearby.  I told him what I just heard, and he said it was just the meds wearing off--and he understood my reaction.  He said the procedure went well.  The best news is that the removed torus was all healthy bone--no sign of ORN, and the skin looked healthy enough for good healing.  So, fingers crossed that the tissue heals on its own, and the next step will be to let Dr. Davis do his magic with the denture.

I'm back home now, drinking a smoothie, and looking forward to a nice nap.  I'll be on soft foods for a while, but should be back in full swing tomorrow.

Thanks as always to Team Mike for your support, and note to self--do not watch CNN while still in a propofol fog.

Mike

Gearing Up for August 8th

I have my pre-op appointment tomorrow morning, which will start the countdown for real on Monday's procedure.  The goal of this procedure is to remove the rest of my right torus so the Plan B denture will fit better down the road.  "Down the road" means when my mouth has healed well enough from this gig to let Dr. Davis start to do his magic.  If all goes well, this will be the proverbial beginning of the end--with all of this work completed by late this year or early next year.  While I have been resigned for a while that I'll never bite into an apple again, or taste all parts of a green chili cheeseburger at the same time, I am a bit disappointed that Plan B was the only choice, which will extend my current limitations and options into the rest of my life.

I should be back from Emory mid-afternoon on Monday.  Depending on how much propofol and oxycontin remains in my system, either I or Terry will post here.  As we have done so many times in the last 7+ years, we are asking Team Mike for some extra Good Vibes on Monday.

Mike

"The Usual Table, Sir?"

"But, of course."

We met today with Dr. Roser, my oral surgeon to get his take on the best plan going forward, based on the news we got from Dr. Davis two weeks ago.  Roser confirmed Davis' opinion that there is not enough bone in my chin to allow implants to be placed there, so Plan B it will be.  That means I'll get a multi-tooth removable denture for that area, and not the preferred implants.

The first step will be to remove the remaining part of the large torus on the lower right side of my mouth.  Ever wonder what those bony protrusions are in some people's mouths?  One is a torus, two are tori.  When all of this started I had two very large tori in my mouth.  Most of the left one got zapped by the radiation, and the rest of it came out during the 2014 surgery.  About half of the right one came out during the 2015 surgery.

The remaining part of the right torus must be removed to let the denture fit better.  The removal requires a short procedure in an Emory OR, scheduled for August 8.  The key from there will be how well and how fast the area heals.  I was told "weeks" but nothing more specific than that.

This will be my fourth reservation in an Emory OR since 2014, which should qualify me for some sort of reward program.  Maybe one of those little cakes with a candle on it that restaurants give out for free on customers' birthdays.  Or, an extra script of Oxycontin--on the house.  I like that one better.

Dr. Roser was very disappointed that his original plan could not happen.  We have confidence that he made the best decision back in 2014 about how much native bone to take out.  What he could not see at that time was how much additional damage had been done by the radiation, causing future ORN next to one end of the grafted bone--leading to last year's radial resection, this year's follow up, and now, Plan B.  It's all just SFL to me.

"OK, class, who can tell me what ORN and SFL are?  I know we haven't used those terms in a while, so put your thinking hats on real hard."
 
We did find out that Dr. Roser lives not too far from here, so if we get really pissed about this, we can drive over there and TP his house.

So, August 8th it is to put Plan B in motion.  I'll send out a Team Mike reminder for Good Vibes a few days ahead.

mike

I had a Hot Run...

...Running the Peachtree!

My last running of the Peachtree 10K Road Race was in near-record heat and humidity for that event.  At the start there was a nice breeze and enough shade to make things pretty comfortable for the first 3 miles.  Then as the temp rose, the sun came up to take away the shade and the major hills appeared on the course, it got uncomfortable in a hurry.  The last quarter-mile of the race is on 10th street, and when we turned onto it we were looking right at the sun, and feeling the sweat and body heat from thousands of other runners bunched up at the finish line. This picture was taken about a hundred yards from the finish.

On the course we saw Abe Lincoln, Batman, all sorts of Uncle Sam costumes, a firefighter in full gear (included air tank), a lot of women (and a few men) in tutus, and several people wearing cool Waffle House race-sponsor shirts. You can't make this shit up.

As is tradition, we got our t-shirts (worse than usual), headed to the car for the "Coldest beers ever" and met up with Terry.

                                                                     Nice shoes, eh?

So ended my history with the Peachtree, finishing the race (term used loosely for me) 16 times since I moved to ATL in 1994.  Jeff has finished 26 times, and this will be his last as well.

The Peachtree got to the top of my Cancer Revenge list in 2009 as I was limited to being a spectator that year following my treatments.  So, in 2010 I trained, entered, and had an emotional run with a broad grin on my face the whole time.  It became one of many milestones in my life as a cancer survivor.  This will be my last because a MRI in 2015 showed that both of my knees are early candidates for replacement, so running is not a good way for me to exercise.

So, how did I train for this year's Peachtree without risking further damage to my knees?  Easy--I practiced "minimalist training" by walking some, running very little, and accepting that I would walk a lot of the course and ingest several doses of Ibuprofin along the way.  Well, we actually ran more than 5 miles of the course, walking only up the two major hills.  Even though we did a lot better than we expected (and trained for), we both have accepted this as our final Peachtree, and I have retired the Livestrong shirt I have worn since the 2010 race.

The Peachtree Road Race is for a very few elite, world-class runners, and the nearly 60,000 others who run it for various reasons.  I started running it for the July 4th celebration, the spectacle of it, the camaradarie with my running partners, and of course the "T-shirts and Cold Beers."  Since 2010 I've run it as one way to show that cancer and its treatments can be survived, and that there is a lot of life to be lived after the Prairie Dogs have attacked.

Mike

Lots to Catch Up On

We've had a few bits of news and events lately so will catch up on all of them here, rather than in separate posts.

Hiro
Our Japanese friend had surgery for stomach cancer a week ago.  The word we get is that the procedure was successful and that he'll be in the hospital for another week, and then resting at home for two more weeks.  He was scheduled to visit ATL in September, but those plans have been postponed.  Thanks to Team Mike for any Good Vibes sent his way to get him this far.

Dinner and a Haircut with Jerry
Our ATL friend and hair stylist came over for dinner this past Wednesday--the first time we've seen him since late winter, during one of his many stays in the hospital.  He's looking good and has put a few pounds back on--but is still thin.  He told us some horror stories about his medical treatments for infections after his initial surgery back in December.  At one point he was having to be hooked up to an IV for 20 hours a day for antibiotics and liquid nutrition.  That brought back some bad memories of our own.

Jerry lives alone, so he enjoyed our company and having dinner cooked for him.  He hasn't been able to cut hair since mid-December, so we worked it out that he cut my hair (badly needed) and he got in a little practice.  It was easy to tell that he missed his profession and small talk with clients, and that he's not lost any of his skills from not working since mid-December.  "Like riding a bike again" he said--and it showed.  My days with Great Clips are now officially over.

He still has some more surgery ahead, to reconnect his colon.  After that he should be on the road to a full recovery.  It was a nice evening for all of us.

Bad News from Dr. Davis
I had an appointment with the prothodontist this week to discuss options for going forward with dental reconstruction work.  The last time I saw him he took a molding of my upper and lower teeth, and from that made a temporary denture to help him line up the implants for Dr. Roser to put in later.  Dr. Davis uses this very cool 3-D imaging technology that gives him very clear and accurate pictures of what's going on in my mouth, with great views of the grafted bone in there.  He used the new mold to line up my future teeth for implants and superimposed that over the 3-D image--that's when the news turned bad.  Dr. Davis needs 4 implants (posts) for the new denture and bridge.  Unfortunately only 1 of those spots has enough bone to accommodate implants.  The other 3 are over bone grafted from my arm, so the bone is not thick enough for implants.

Dr. Davis laid out three possible Plan Bs that we'll discuss with Dr. Roser soon.  One option is to take bone from my hip and graft it in (after removing the previously grafted bone).  That would essentially be a repeat of the 2015 procedure, and set me back 12-18 months.  A spin off of that option would be to get bone from a donor (read, cadaver) instead of my hip.  The upside of that is I'd only have one surgical site to heal.  The risk is that my body could reject the alien bone.  And, to be honest, I'm not sure I can take another major surgery, or be comfortable having a dead stranger's bone in my body.

Another option is to do some more work on the other side of my mouth to allow the denture more places to be attached to.  We're not sure exactly what that would entail.

The third option is to remove all of my remaining lower teeth and put in a full detachable denture.

So, Dr. Davis will talk with Dr. Roser to discuss the specifics of each option, and at some point we'll need to make a decision.  Stay tuned.

Bite, me
The only upside to the visit with Dr. Davis is that he doesn't need that mold any more, so I got to go home with it.  For the first time in more than 2 years I had a full set of lower teeth in my mouth, and could chew with more than the very back lower teeth on my right side.  So, to give the new temporary choppers a test ride, we ordered pizza from Shorty's.  They make a very thin-crusted pie, baked in a wood fired oven--one of our favorites.  I've had to pass on all pizza for more than two years, and only recently could eat a bit with a fork after cutting it with a knife.  After test driving the new teeth with a few cut bites from a fork, I went for a full bite, right from the slice, and voila!, here's the result...

Now, I know it doesn't look like much to you--you do this without giving it so much as a thought--but for me, this is a real breakthrough.  Enough that I showed it off to Terry and she took a picture of it.  What you can't see in this picture is the huge shit-eating grin on my face (and the slobber coming out of my mouth from over-salivating). This is a small preview of what I can get back to when the dental reconstruction is done--once we can figure out which option will get me there.

Peachtree Road Race Swan Song
I have a "Cancer Revenge" list of things I wanted to get back in my life after the Prairie Dogs took them away in 2009 and beyond.  I was able to check off one of those things in 2010--running the Peachtree 10K Road Race on July 4th.  I was able to run it in 2011, 2012, and 2013.  I had to miss it the last two years due to the surgeries in early summer both times.  With this year's surgery being relatively minor, I can run it again--but for the last time.  I had a full body MRI early in 2015 that showed both of my knees could be heading towards replacement surgery--especially if I kept doing high-impact exercising. So, having more than enough of surgeries, recoveries, Caribbean Nazi nurses, Fentanyl-induced nightmares, Hotel Emory, and ICUs, I am trying to keep the two knees I got at birth for the rest of my life.  My future exercising will be walking, the elliptical machine at the Y, and riding my recumbent bicycle.

But before I hang up my running shoes for good, I am going to walk/run the Peachtree one last time, with Jeff Rupp--who will also make this his swan song.  By my count, Jeff and I have done about 15 Peachtree 10Ks together, so it's fitting that we do our last ones together. Neither of us have trained a lot, so we expect to do more walking than running--and maybe even stop for a beer along the way.  If it gets too hard (or we're too drunk), we'll just call Uber to take us to the finish line so we can get this year's ugly t-shirt and "the coldest beer ever."  Of course, we'll cap our participation the way we've done the last several times we've been able to complete the Peachtree--with a nap.

Have a safe and fun 4th of July.

Mike

A Milestone Day, June 1

We got a letter telling us that my oncologist, Dr. Charles Henderson, is going to retire at the end of June, so we scheduled an appointment to see him on June 1.  No medical need for the appointment--we just wanted to see him one last time and thank him for all he's done over the past 7+ years.  You may recall that he is also a head/neck cancer survivor who started his treatments five years before mine, and also had many of the same side effects--though he managed to avoid having a jaw resection.  Lucky bastard.

He did his usual exam and we chatted for a few minutes before he said there was no need for any further follow ups.  He declared me "fully healed" of the MEC cancer from 2009, and therefore no need to continue my visits to his office, or to see his replacement.  While that was not really news to us, it was nice to know that the case was closed on my cancer in his mind and Terry and I both felt a relief, just the same.

Dr. Henderson is also a patient of Dr. Roser, my jaw surgeon at Emory.  In fact, Dr. Henderson gave me the original referral to Dr. Roser--which says a lot with the doctors being in different medical groups.

So, that visit gave us some nice closure to my time with Dr. Henderson, and gave us a little milestone to celebrate.  But we had a bigger milestone to celebrate on June 1.  10 years ago on that date Terry and I got married on Roatan, in Honduras.

The ceremony took place on a deck above a dock at the house we rented for the week, and was attended by some new-found friends in Roatan and my good friend (and former brother in-law)-turned-Best Man, Craig, who dived with me that week.

 

We didn't know if we'd get all the legal stuff done in time to get married that week, so didn't tell Craig he'd be doing Best Man duty until after he arrived.  After the ceremony he gave a us a toast (from precise memory!) with Shakespeare's 116th Sonnet that dropped everybody's jaw (including mine, when I had one). 

 Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
     If this be error and upon me proved,
     I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Craig was not our only guest there.  We had invited Jeff and Deb Rupp to join us on the trip but they were unable to make it.  So, while they were there in spirit, we brought them along in another embodiment. You can see them here enjoying some cake and champagne after the ceremony.

Right--you can't make this shit up...

The added significance of June 1 being our 10th anniversary is our running joke that this is my Personal Best in the staying-married department of life.  None of my three previous marriages saw double digit anniversaries--and two of them added together would barely make it. Depends how you count.

Terry and I looked at the video and some pictures taken at the ceremony, and caught ourselves asking, "Who are those two people?"  Terry looks much the same, but did notice the toll her arthritis  is taking on her hands.  As for me, I don't even remember the physical image of the groom in the photos.  I'm 60 pounds lighter, sans beard, and my thinning hair is totally gray now.  The strange thing is that I also don't know who it is I see in the mirror every day, or in current pictures.  Go figure, and Dr. Henderson, can you refer me to a good shrink?

June 1 offered us a chance to reflect on the past 10 years and all that we've done, accomplished, and battled through as a couple.  The bottom line is something I've said many times here--there are many wonderful things in our lives that have made the fight with the Prairie Dogs, the treatments, and side effects worth it.  I sometimes forget that, like when I'm struggling to chew and swallow the few foods I can eat, or when I can't even try to eat some of my favorite foods, or when Terry reminds me to keep my fibula up so I don't drool out (It'll come to you), or when I mumble a sentence--so we both need the June 1s (and birthdays, etc) in our lives to remind us that we still have much to be thankful for, and much more to look forward to.

Thanks to all of you on Team Mike for helping that happen.

Mike

Need Good Vibes for Hiro

I just got an email from a good friend in Japan who told me that a mutual good friend there has been diagnosed with intestinal cancer and will have surgery soon.  Hirofumi ("Hiro") had a long history of stomach problems and  he was in some kind of discomfort that way on  his last 2-3 visits to ATL.  I can't say, but that might have been his precursor to cancer.  He had been seeing doctors for a long time, so he was not ignoring it.

Our worry is that Hiro is a very small man, with a fragile physical disposition.  He will have to fight hard, but doesn't have a strong constitution for it.  Hopefully he is a lot stronger mentally and spiritually--but I have my doubts.

So, please send him your best Team Mike (he was a regular member) Good Vibes to Hiro, and I'll keep you posted.

Mike

Back Home, Early

We are back home, before lunch!  They did not have to do a skin graft to seal the jaw area, so that cut the time for the procedure in half.   We were prepared for a full day at Emory.

Dr. Roser was pleased with how it all went, and the swelling is much less than I thought it would be.  In fact, I just had yogurt and some Ensure+, so already eating again.  But, will be on a very soft diet until the follow up on May 13th.

The bonus Good News is that Roser removed most of the hair from inside my mouth, so I won't have to shave my lower gums any more.  Life is good!

Terry went to the pharmacy to get the pain meds ordered.  They will be needed less for jaw pain and more for me to cope with the reality that Donald Trump is now the presumptive Republican presidential nominee.  That puts him just one election victory away from us taking up citizenship in New Zealand.

While this morning went a whole lot better than we thought, there is still a long ways to go with this stuff.  Thanks for all of the Good Vibes--as always, Team Mike came through in a big way.

Mike

T-Minus 1 Week

Exactly one week from now I'll be getting prepped to occupy my reserved table on the Emory Midtown Hospital surgical floor.  So, it's time to ask Team Mike to start stockpiling those Good Vibes again.

The procedure should last less than two hours and the plan is to have me home sometime that afternoon.  I hesitate to jinx myself with the usual disclaimer that starts with "Unless..." but the reality is always there that both the procedure and my stay at Emory could be longer.

One of us will post as soon as possible, but if it's me and it starts with

"GODDAMNMOTHERFUCKINGSONOFAFUCKINGBITCH" 

you won't have to read any further.

mike

Surgery Postponed

The upcoming surgery has been moved back to May 4.  Dr. Roser had an emergency case that needed my regular table at the Emory Surgical Facility more than me so I got bumped back two weeks.  Actually, that was good news--it was going to be very tight to get the semester wrapped up by April 20th and avoid grading papers and exams while on full doses of Oxycontin.  Can't say whether that is a good thing or a bad thing for my students.

So, gear up the next round of Good Vibes for May 4th.  I have been told to expect about 7-10 days of down time afterwards, and 2-3 weeks of even softer foods than I'm eating now.

Mike

Good News about Olivia, not sure about Jerry

We heard today that Olivia is cancer-free after her surgery in February. She will need periodic scans but the docs are confident that she is NED (no evidence of disease) right now.

Score another one for Team Mike.

Terry got her hair done at Jerry's salon today and heard that he is not back at work yet--with no projection when that might happen.  He has not fully recovered from his infection and has gone back to the hospital for needed fluids lately.

Please keep Jerry in your thoughts and prayers until he is fully out of the woods.

Mike

Updates on Olivia, Jerry, and Mike

Olivia had her outpatient procedure last Friday and spent the weekend resting at home, in good spirits.  The early word from the docs is that they had good margins and are confident they took out all of the cancer tissue.  She has a follow up in another week or so and likely some scans later.

Jerry's story is still in progress.  We heard in early February that he was still in the hospital, and we went to visit him.  He was alert, but very weak from his extended time in the hospital--and he was looking at more time ahead.  The working diagnosis was that he had a parasite in his body at the time of the surgery in late December and that it kicked into high gear when his immune system was weakened by the cancer and the surgery.  We learned the he was released from the hospital about 10 days ago, and is resting at home.  No timetable for when he might be able to work again.

As for us, we are biding our time until the April surgery, with no recurrences of the problems that put me into the ER two weeks ago.  I have had a good appetite, but eating anything more solid than yogurt remains a struggle.  I have lost a couple of pounds and am right at my high school playing weight, but without the cat-like moves and bull strength I had in those days.

I am disappointed that I can's exercise beyond our walks around the 'hood until the a-fib thing gets fixed.  I was really enjoying getting back to the Y for some work on the elliptical and lifting some weights, but that's on hold for the time being.  I am still committed to doing (my last) Peachtree Road Race on July 4th and will get ready for that as soon as the doc gives me the OK.

In the meantime I'm just hanging out watching the Republican middle schoolers entertain me on the nightly news every day.  Seriously, you can't make this shit up...if the Pope getting into the picture wasn't enough fun, now the KKK is in the mix!

Mike

Good Vibes needed for Olivia

Since my own cancer was diagnosed in 2009, we have had a number of friends and neighbors who have also been diagnosed.  Now the prairie dogs have surfaced even closer to us.  Terry's daughter, Olivia-Shea has been diagnosed with stage 1B cervical cancer, which means the spot is visible but contained to that area.  No evidence that it has spread beyond that area.

She will have an outpatient procedure on February 26th to remove the cancer tissue.  At this time it would appear it has been caught early enough--but it has scared the hell out of her and her mother--as is understandable.

Please send your best Team Mike Good Vibes to Olivia-Shea before, during, and after her procedure.  We'll keep you updated after we get the results of the surgery and any follow up reports.

Mike and Terry

May I Have More Yogurt, Please?

Well, the theme from my last post turned into a bit of a bad story this past weekend.  After several weeks of being tired of eating yogurt and my other limited selections of foods, things developed into a perfect storm that ended with me in the Emory ER on Monday.  Make that "us," since Terry was with me the whole time.

Over the past few weeks I've not had much of an appetite--as I said before, probably just tired of eating much of the same foods over and over.  Yogurt fatigue, I'll call it.  The reality for me is that I have to drink a lot of water at every meal to help me swallow my food.  So, if I eat less, I hydrate less.  And, as I've now learned, when someone gets dehydrated, it can lead to an irregular heartbeat--atrial fibulation (a-fib), which I have had on occasion.  The combination of fewer calories and dehydration also contributed to a general feeling of nausea and unsteadiness on my feet.

I woke up on Saturday feeling terrible, was very unsteady, and vomited several times during the day.  All of that got a little better on Sunday, but come Monday it was time to go the the ER.  The cardiologist found the a-fib, and the neurologist figured out the unsteadiness due to dehydration.  After 6 hours there, and a bag of fluids, I was released--but with lots of advice (warnings, actually) about how this happened and how to prevent it.  Pretty simple--more calories and more fluids every day.  So, I've now started to track my caloric intake with a software app, and get back in the habit of drinking lots of fluids every day--and not just at mealtimes (such as those are).

I have a small procedure scheduled in late March to address the a-fib thing--a cardio inversion, and I'm on new meds for that as well.  Hopefully that will do it.

But, all of this serves as yet another reminder that life as a cancer survivor does not necessarily mean a life without cancer playing some role.  In my case, the permanent side effects from my treatments seven years ago. 

Truth be told, I hate having to be vigilant with things that are basically nuisances, like taking meds, counting calories, watching my fluid intake, and making sure I eat enough yogurt and Boost every day.  I'd much rather just go about my daily business and not worry about that shit.  But, I don't have that luxury any more--cancer and its treatments have taken that away from me.  I need to be much better at watching all of those things every day, to make sure I don't create another perfect storm that takes me to the ER, or worse, again.

mike

When the going gets tough, the tough eat yogurt

It's 10:55 PM on Friday--make that 10:56 PM now, and I am eating a Publix Premium Peach Greek Yogurt to keep my tummy from growling so I can get some sleep tonight.

Those little black plastic tubs of cultures (what the hell does that really mean, anyway?) have become my default food source lately--what I use to get an easily ingestible 150 or so calories when I need them, about 3-4 times every day.

Beyond liquid foods like smoothies, Boost, and some pureed soups, everything else I can eat now is a struggle--thus the reliance on yogurt.  Beer, wine and bourbon are technically not foods, so are exceptions--but they do provide substantial calories, and a buzz, in a pinch.  Thank you, Mr. Daniels.

Eating is a struggle, and a long one at every meal.  Terry and I start a meal together and by the time I'm tossing half of mine into the garbage, she's finished hers, done the dishes, put the leftovers in the fridge, and poured her post-dinner glass of wine.  Thus, the need for yogurts at 10:00 am, 2:00 PM, 5:00 PM, and now 11:13 PM.

For many, eating food is a pleasure--something to look forward and savor.  For me, eating has become something I know I have to do, but with limited choices, and only occasional enjoyment.  And except for eating at home with Terry, something I avoid at all costs in social settings.  I went to a Waffle House this morning with a good friend, and managed to eat about half of an omelet and a few bites of my hash browns (covered) before I couldn't fake the struggle any more.  I took a to-go box to save face, but ended up tossing it out, without eating any more later.  Just not worth the struggle.

When I got home yesterday, needing my 5:00 PM snack after work, I opened the fridge and saw a bunch of those black plastic Publix Premium yogurt tubs staring at me.  I had to take a long look at them, wondering if I could stomach yet another one.  After a few minutes, I did pick one (the flavor didn't freaking matter) and I ate it--as a choice of mind over matter, yet again.  Yes, when the going gets tough, the tough eat yogurt--to stay alive.

It's come to that.

mike

Shane Frehlich Memorial and video

You may remember Shane Frehlich from earlier posts on this blog.  He passed away in 2015 from a rare form of Leukemia.  I attended a professional conference in San Diego last week, where a touching memorial to Shane was given by some of his closest friends and colleagues at California State University Northridge, where he was a professor.

As part of that memorial they showed a short video produced at CSUN to show how Shane had touched the lives of so many people on that campus.  I was able to get a link to that video, so you can put a face to his name, and see just how much he was loved by his family and his CSUN colleagues:

https://vimeo.com/144076563

I did not participate actively in the memorial in San Diego.  I watched the video and listened to the handful of people who did say something about Shane and what he meant to them and our association.  All I could think of was "Why me?"  Why have I survived cancer, when so many others who fought just as hard (and Shane twice) did not make it?  That has been a haunting question for the past 7 years, and I didn't want to make that the subject of any comments I made about Shane at that moment.  It was his moment and I didn't want to take away from that with words about myself.  All I could think of was "Why me?" so I sat quietly among the others in the room.

Sometimes I fool myself into thinking that I have beaten cancer entirely and that there are only physical scars to show from my battles with the Prairie Dogs.  Again, the truth is, I have not beaten cancer entirely--I've only survived it for 7 years, and events like Shane's memorial serve to bring that reality back to me.

mike

A Scare about Jerry, and Some Good News

Terry read a Facebook post last week that Jerry had been taken back for emergency surgery--that was all we knew for a few days, and we were very concerned.  We heard yesterday that the surgery was for some complications from infections from the first surgery, and it went very well.  We also got more details about his initial surgery--they removed some cancerous cells (with good margins) and some lymph nodes, but there was no evidence that it had spread to other areas. Also, they are not prescribing chemo or radiation at this time. All in all, good news, and another example of Team Mike's Good Vibes making a difference.

Mike