Extra Good Vibes needed

I met with Dr. Wadsworth's physician's assistant last week and got a very bad bit of news about my progress in the food swallowing department.  While I have been able to eat soft foods like yogurt, pudding, and recently--smoothies, I am making no progress towards being able to eat solid foods.  I knew that, but what Lauren told me next really got my attention.  The 'window' for showing signs of getting back to eating solid foods is closing for me.  If I don't make some significant progress in the next month or so, they will start to talk about Life Plan B for me to get food into my body.

While no one really thinks much about what happens to a bite of food once it leaves the palate and starts down to the stomach, it's really a very complicated and intricate process, involving a lot of small muscles, and a number of anatomical structures working in a strict sequence, all coordinated by nerves in the tongue, mouth, throat, neck, and esophagus.  Bottom line for me--almost every one of those parts has been compromised by radiation and the surgeries in the past year and a half.  As Lauren told me, sometimes those functions just can't recover from the accumulated effects.

And, a little of what I can swallow leaks into my windpipe--called aspiration.  There is a reflex action that occurs when food goes where it shouldn't--we gag and cough when it "goes  down the wrong pipe."  While not a fun thing, it does show that the body is aware of the problem and is reacting to it.  I don't have that reflex any more--thanks to radiation.  So, unless the aspiration stops, I'm at risk for infection in my chest and lungs.  There are only two ways to stop the aspiration--get stronger and more efficient at swallowing food, or eat no food orally.

I have my next swallow test on October 14.  Lauren thinks this will be the best indicator of my ability to eventually progress past more than soft food, by comparing it to my previous tests.  If there are no signs of progress, then they will start to talk about Life Plan B--how to go the rest of my life with eating only liquid and very soft foods--basically what I'm doing now.  While I've been accepting of the feeding tube and freakin' smoothies as a temporary eating plan, the thought of doing that for the rest of my life (and the possibility of infections from aspirations) scares the hell out of me.  This is a huge quality of life situation.

You know what's coming.  We need Team Mike to send more and stronger good vibes leading up to the October 14 swallow test.  I have doubled up on my swallowing exercises to give my body every chance to show signs of improvement.  I know that if I show some improvement I won't leave the test and gulp down a green chili cheeseburger.  I am hoping at the most for some sign of improvement that will keep alive the hopes that I can eventually return to the kind of foods I could eat before the surgeries happened.  To me, that would be enough of a miracle.

mike