Terry and I were in Florida on January 5th when I got a call from Mike Hart, a childhood and life-long friend who still lives in my hometown. Mike told me that another friend of ours, Eddie Kreiger, was very sick--the suspicion was cancer, but no one had heard if a terminal diagnosis had been made. Eddie passed away the very next day, in a hospital near Buffalo, NY. Due to the timing, and the ice storm that hit Atlanta the next weekend, I was not able to attend the service, which had a large turnout--attributable to Eddie's knack for making friends fast and keeping them forever.
I was able to reach another mutual friend, Steve Slavin, who had been in close contact with Eddie over the years. Steve told me that Eddie was diagnosed with bone cancer in November of 2010 and had experienced some good days and bad days along the way. Steve saw Eddie just a few days before his passing, and was told that Eddie was doing well enough to be discharged soon. That never happened, and Steve was shocked to learn that Eddie never got to go home again.
Eddie was one of those rare guys who could be described as a 'likable rascal' who got himself and many of his buddies into a fair amount of mostly innocent trouble during our grade school and high school years. For me, that extended into our college years, as Eddie and I both attended college in Boston. More on that later.
Eddie liked to drive fast cars, even before he had a driving license! I remember well the summer that we were hired by his father to paint the family house, and when both of his parents were gone and his dad's souped-up Chevy was left there, we would take it for joy rides around their neighborhood--and sometimes a bit farther. Eddie would smile and rationalize that we needed to do this because his father drove really slow, and the car needed to be driven fast from time to time to clear out the exhaust system. That worked for me. I was probably 14 and Eddie was 13.
I went to a Catholic high school in another town a short distance away. Eddie was a year behind me, and started high school in Salamanca. It didn't take long for him to wear out his welcome there, and his parents thought the he could be "rehab'd" by going to a private school--if he could get in with his bad grades and bad-boy reputation. I made a case for him with the principal at Walsh, and they let him in. Eddie did well at Walsh, getting decent grades and playing football, blocking on the offensive line as I played quarterback behind him. What the good nuns and priests didn't know was that Eddie (and his big gang of buddies) was still up to his juvenile tricks--but had just learned to be better at not getting caught (as much).
After I graduated high school I went off to Tufts in Boston, and two years later, Eddie started at a 2-year school near Fenway park. Eddie came to Tufts football games and parties at my fraternity house, so I saw him a lot. He was liked by the fraternity brothers so much that they wanted to make him a member of the fraternity, but the rules didn't allow that--so we made him an "unofficial honorary member." It was at a "mixer" (boy, does that give away my age) at my fraternity house that he met Barb--who soon became his girlfriend, and then his wife. She was with him when he passed away.
Sometime after college I fell out of touch with Eddie and Barb for many years. I'd ask people in Salamanca about them, but no one else knew much about them either. That is, until about 10 years ago when I asked someone again, and was told that Eddie and Barb were back living in Salamanca. I got in touch with them and visited them for a short time--and learned that Eddie had served 20+ years in the military and had retired to live in Salamanca. Barb worked at a pharmacy near their house. They had two adult kids who both were serving in the military themselves.
A party guy for many years, Eddie had stopped drinking and started to attend church regularly. He and Barb both rode Harleys, and I heard recently that they would go on rides with their church pastor. The last time I saw Eddie, he and Barb were both very happy living a quiet life in our small home town--very different from the "Fast Eddie" I had known since grade school, but all of the changes he made had brought him much peace and happiness, and it showed.
This past August Terry and I were back in Salamanca and stopped at Barb and Eddie's house to say hello. They had not seen me since I was sick, so I was excited to let them see the "new me" and to spend some time with them. But, it was a nice summer day, and most likely they were out riding their motorcycles, so we didn't get to see them. I left a note that we had missed them, and told them "See you next summer around this same time."
I now wish we had more time to come back later that day or the next day, but I just assumed that I'd see them again in a year--and would call ahead to make sure they were around.
Steve Slavin put it best in my conversation with him, saying "If you can't like a guy like Eddie, you need to take a long look at yourself in the mirror." I couldn't agree more.
Mike
What a great story about my brother..Thank you..I never knew about the car story. We should all do the good that Edward did each day... Susan Krieger Markel
ReplyDeleteVery nice reflections Mike... from one of "the big gang of buddies" that spent many days... and nights, looking for some fun.(AKA trouble to some). Ed was the kind of friend that everyone should work towards being. It didn't matter how long it had been since you had seen or talked to him, when you did talk to him, he made you feel like you were the most important friend in his life.
ReplyDeleteI started battling Colon cancer in Aug of 2008. Had some severe challenges from the surgery, and then did radiation and 6 months of chemo. Ed would stop to see me or call to check on me, because I needed it, and he knew it.
When he had gone to the doctor about the tumor in his arm, he called me and we talked about the battle he was facing and how he was going to beat this. Unfortunately for all who knew him, and those he hadn't met yet, that didn't happen.
I once read that the true measure of a man was as his time was ending if he asked himself, "Was the world better because of me?" While Ed was in the hospital, he asked Barb if he had made a difference. A man in front of us at his funeral mass said he wouldn't have been alive if it weren't for Ed. There are many similar stories of people that he had made a difference for. To the question I can only add, "Ed, the world was a better place because you were here!" "...until we meet again my friend... "
Tim Flanigan
Thank you for such a beautiful tribute to our cousin Ed! No one could ever doubt for a second that he made a difference in our world! He had all the "Hail, fellow well-met!" spirit of his father and grandfather. The world is a smaller place without him -- but they're having a heck of a lot of fun in Heaven!
ReplyDeleteJenifer, Meredith & Gay Krieger